CENTRELINK PONDERINGS.

ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL.

That was my waking thought. Another Centrelink encounter via Izzy has brought me to that place. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. This client – Thats the word they use – This client presents as a 59 year old man with a 40 year employment history including music, welfare, project manager, management of own company and academic background which has reached Masters and PhD candidature, has included tutoring, lecturing, course design of Local Studies Subjects amongst others. The client is highly articulate, well presented, 4 syllabic in literary manner and following a 2 year contract at the University of Queensland and unable to obtain Government Assistance in order to complete his PhD thesis – has been driven into the World of Newstart. The Client is also computer literate and masters his own websites. 

However, in the world of ONE SIZE FITS ALL Employment Network, The Client is required to participate in INTENSIVE ASSISTANCE. 

For me, there are a number of problem areas involved in this. One for me, despite my being somewhat of a God Freak, is the involvement of religious organisations in such matters . I don’t  see that this is appropriate in allocation of Client and Network.

The Intensive Assistance seemed a little exciting – Hmm ! Thought I. Perhaps tailor made to The Client. So The Client heads off into the Industrial Area of Tweed Heads where the Network Office is located, to return after a 2 hour session with a generic programme of activities, designed to prepare him to enter the workforce. The Folder is glossy and contains the fundamental prerequisites of the Boom Era which has just ended and the conclusion seems to me at this stage to be – that with the shiny folder including Logo and rather intimidating catchcry “WE NEVER GIVE UP”, and with 3 weeks of rah sessions in an airconditioned ( don’t worry about the environment) cell, The Client – who is already more Job Ready than the average – will defeat the Great Recession and the sheer lack of jobs . As the world tumbles around us, I do believe the very thought of this is driving me back to the Animated Gif.

Pay no attention to the 590000 jobless figures.

When we have completed the INTENSIVE ASSISTANCE, the Client will be:

• well dressed (with Funds provided by the Network) 
• carrying his TARGETTED RESUMES ( which said Network is about to teach him to do. They have already SIMPLIFIED his Resume for the online site and incorrectly listed him as an English Teacher)
• he will understand his Employer Needs
• have found the Hidden Job Market
• have developed JobSearch Strategies
• and Overcome the Roadblocks to Employment.

Some of these Schemes might work. I have not over my 21 years or more of observing them, seen success in any substantial degree but there are some valid and interesting techniques. I have seen far more failures and distressing outcomes. In this case, I see serious problems with the ONE SIZE FITS ALL which does not cater for the enormous variations within Clients and their needs and desires and capabilities.

And the waking thought was that – the programme of Intensive Assistance which I am looking at right now – does not respond in any way at all to the situation which exists. Years back, at an education conference in Boambee, the Guest Speaker spoke of Education in Australia as being oblivious to the Neutron Bomb which had gone off. The building still stood and we catered educationally to an imaginary stable family of Father Mother and Children with 3 meals and cosy beds to tuck into of a night.  Here we are, attempting in the same manner, to prepare people who are unemployed from a wide variety of causes,  to re-enter the world in which the Neutron Bomb has already exploded. A better outfit of clothes, an even higher standard of education than a PhD Candidature, a wider smile , the compliant attendance at “Training Sessions”, the patronising ” we shall give you petrol vouchers and new clothes” – none of these things  is addressing the World in which we live. And each of the elements of these programmes makes a life already difficult and usually incorporating shame and embarrassment, even more difficult, even more shame-filled and even more embarassing.

IT COULD WELL BE TIME FOR THE FULL MONTY.

And IN CLOSING – as they say. I will close on these PET PEEVES as Jim Belshaw calls them:

Why should I say thank you for giving me what is mine. And why should I say thank you for giving me Half of what was already mine? That’s a loose mauling of a quote from someone in the Black Panthers probably. I just can’t deal with the ” if you are a very good boy we might let you have petrol and maybe new shoes”.

Oh! So you have worked all your life and done wonderful things – bad luck. Now we have you.

And on my Mother’s passing, a wee blossom of a social worker, maybe 24 years old, entered the ante-room of shock and overwhelming grief, in the same manner as Young Mr Grace on “Are You Being Served?” – Everyone alright in here ? says she.

Finally my daughter’s comment on emerging from a session with her high school counsellor – I HATE PEOPLE WHO SMILE WHEN YOU’RE TELLING THEM THE SADDEST THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.

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AND THE FINAL WORD FROM THE CLIENT.

Says I – The original INTENSIVE ASSISTANCE idea was probably pretty good.

YES, Says He – SO WAS THE ROMAN EMPIRE.